I Suffer from Allodoxaphobia

"I smell the fear that rains inside, the thought of children who must oblige. To tainted dreams and polluted seas, the missing moon and melting trees. A mist of doom and clouds of pain. A toxic waste and an acid rain" Lenny Kravitz from "Fear"

When the nurse came in this morning to narcotize me I found myself suffering from what the Asylum, psychiatrist would call pharmacophobia, which is the fear of drugs. What I should have been diagnosed as having was bartonophobia, the fear of evil psychotic surgically enhanced nurses as named for Clara Barton founder of the American Red Cross and perhaps a witch. Okay, I could be wrong about the witch thing, but my nurse is definitely worthy of my fear.

Fear is a funny thing. Not funny in a haha, makes me pee a little kind of way, but more of a how can that actually terrify anyone kind of way. Take uranophobia for example. Now, necrophobia or the fear of death, I can understand. I get that. But uranophobia? It's the fear of Heaven. Seriously. It's such a common affright that they had to come up with a name of it. Or what about bolshephobia. Knowing that the Russian dance troupe called the Bolshoi Ballet exists, I thought, what man doesn't have a slight trepidation when it comes to ballet, but then I learned that pirouettes and arabesque's have nothing to do with it. It's the fear of Bolsheviks. Really?

Ballistophobia is the fear of bullets. Would that be a box of ammo sitting on a counter or a small metal projectile zooming through the air with the goal of ending my life, because one of those things I'm afraid of. The other is just a box.

I don't suffer from epistemophobia because if I did then this blog wouldn't be written. Knowledge, after all, is nothing to be scared of. Pretty sure that I don't suffer from cypridophobia, parthenophobia, or eurotophobia either, because I don't get the nits in front of hookers, virgins or female genitalia. There really is a terror for every occasion. I don't have Judeophobia cause I like Adam and the Weinsteins, but I do have a touch of theophobia which is just a general bugaboo against religion in general.

Though as I did research on this I realize I am coming down with hellenologophobia, no not the fear of Helen Slater, the Legend of Billie Jean rocked, no it's the fear complex scientific terminology. It's quite possible that I suffer from oprahophobia, which is the fear of black women that want to rule the minds of other woman. And, though I didn't know it had a name I also suffer from anuptaphobia which is the opposite of gamophobia. I could tell you what all that means but it would lea to your sophophobia.

Basically, I'm scared of snakes, reptiles, wooden roller coasters, and Keanu Reeves movies, other than that I'm as sane as Lizzie Borden. Relatively speaking.

Got phobias?

Dixie Cup of Love: The Reaper.