Liberal Crybabyism

"Johnny's in the basement, Mixing up the medicine. I'm on the pavement thinking about the government. The man in the trench coat, badge out, laid off. Says he's got a bad cough. Wants to get it paid off" Bob Dylan from "Subterranean Homesick Blues"

The fever of the rings is upon the nurse as was apparent by her never ending viewing of the games from China. She is apologizing in advance as the next 16 days may feature more than a few blogs about the Olympic games. You know how crazy women are about their sports. But not all of these blogs will be directed at, but inspired by the festival. For instance, today's weirdo topic has nothing to with May and Treanor, Natalie Coughlin, or the Volleyball coach that had his father-in-law murdered. Though I must explain where the idea comes from and that does lead directly to Michael Phelps.

After the medal ceremony Phelps tossed his roses into the stands to a "fan" that threw him an article of clothing back. It did appear to have printing on it and I thought for a moment that he was about to don a protest tog. He didn't. But I started thinking about where I would choose to launch a protest for my most heartfelt belief, the freedom of speech.

So, for the fantasy propaganda moment I have to assume that I would be in any of the situations noted here, and presumably I won.

Fantasy #1: The Academy Awards. Upon winning the little bald bastard I saunter to the podium, stopping to shake hands with Jack Nicholson and getting a quick kiss on the cheek from Diablo Cody. This would seem like the perfect place to voice my concerns about what the Patriot Act means to my freedom of speech, but those type of shenanigans are for the likes of Susan Surandon and Tim Robbins. I'd save it for the press room and let the writers go wild. It could be legendary if done correctly. But I do have some sanctity for the Oscars so maybe this isn't my ideal place for civil disobedience.

Fantasy #2: Being the MVP of the Super Bowl is an awesome feeling, plus I get a really sweet ride. Perhaps now is the time to remove my pads to reveal a T-shirt reading "Get You Damned Microphone Out Of My Freedom Of Speech." The media would go ape-shit. You can almost hear Bill O'Reilly calling it liberal crybabyism. But would the majority of the knucklehead jocks watching understand or would they think it was a joke to the reporters? Not the place for political protest me thinks.

Fantasy #3: Medal platform, Gold Medal for Hot Dog Eating, of course the most watched event of the Olympiad, I stand stone faced staring at the flag and sing a new set of lyrics to the National Anthem. To make a statement about free speech while not making a sound would indeed speak pretty loudly. To make it more intriguing I would post the lyrics on a website, music by Francis Scott Key, lyrics by Eddie Vedder. A new song for a new revolution. I'm gonna go with this one, though I would do any or all of the three if it meant keeping my freedom of speech intact.

Where would you protest? What would your cause be? Who is your favorite Cosby? It's a joke, get it?

Dixie Cup of Love: Michael Phelps.