Bonfair of the Vanities

"That's the way it began,We were hand in hand, Glenn Miller's Band was better than before. We yelled and screamed for more. And the chorus tune, Made us dance across the room, It ended all too soon" Little River Band from "Reminiscing"

The nurse and I were having an Alternate Reality kind of morning as we sat around, taking the meds slowly, and talking about the good old days. See, thought this here bloggy is only about two months old, the nurse has been with me since birth: day one. From my epidural high as I squeezed my way out of SuperMom's Play Doh Fun Factory of Life to yesterday's horrible day at HellJob, she has always been there. So, as we verbally danced through the years three names came to reign supreme. Don, Wayne and Atomic.

I will get to more tales of Wayne and Atomic, but today I want to introduce you all to Don, fuck that Donnie. Say hello to the nice people would ya? You fine folks, my fans and friends get special guests who stop by from time to time when I write about them, and I'm hoping today is no different. Donnie will be available for questions in the lobby after the show.

Donnie and I met in high school through another mutual friend, Stevie. But Stevie didn't have the razor wit that Donnie, Wayne and I shared, so he ended up being the constant butt of jokes both practical and verbal. In Donnie, though, I found one of my "other" brothers, Wayne and Atomic both qualify under this auspicious title. See, I basically lived at Donnie's. His parents were my second parents, his Pop was my only real father figure and I called him Pop. Donnie's mom I called Cherie for that is her name and I already had SuperMom at home, so no need for the Mom tag, but surrogate mother she most definitely was.

Donnie's house was the scene of many a shenanigan. Whether it be pulling the tacked down carpet up in the middle of the night or wakes that somehow felt more like parties, times were rarely dull. We would inflict upon his mother movies like The Wall, Tommy, Clockwork Orange, or Blue Velvet while she smoked and drank incredible amounts of coffee, I'm amazed she ever slept. And she has this laugh, a cackling howl that if you were the recipient of, heaven help you. It was wicked. Funny, but wicked.

We built a weight room, we swam, we drank copious amounts of booze and beer all under the watchful eye, she only has one, of Cherie. And when Pop was home we minded his business which he was never allowed to talk about due to security clearance issues, at least that's what he told us, probably just didn't want to talk to a bunch of drunk teenagers about his day at the office, and really, could you blame him? But Pop would let me mow the lawn of a pack of Pall Mall Non Filters, crushingly harsh smokes to take in my youth, but hey smokes were smokes. For all the good stuff and the bad, they were my family.

Even when the truth of my origins became known, I lied for years about where I was from, they scolded but loved me just the same. I introduced, kind of, Donnie to his wife. I learned much about how a family works. I grew up as the third, well fourth if you count James, child of the Harris family and I am forever grateful to them for allowing me in.

Donnie will now field any questions you may have about himself? Me in high school? The shenanigans that I don't dare mention? Whatever.

Dixie Cup of Love: My brother Don.