Squirt Some

"And please remember that I never lied, And please remember, how I felt inside now honey. You gotta make it your own way, But you'll be alright now sugar, You'll feel better tomorrow, Come the morning light now baby" Guns 'N Roses from "Don't Cry"

As the nurse came in with a decorative Flintstones Dixie cup full of meds cut in the shape of Betty Rubble, the most edible of the cast, I couldn't help but notice her eyes were swollen and red. As I have stated before the nurses pain in one of my great sources of amusement, the others being children running into closed sliding glass doors and the movies of Pauly Shore, it true, it's sad, but it's true. In order for the effect to fully envelope my being I have to know the cause of her anguish. Symptoms are great, but the impetuous really pumps my nads. After asking what was the matter the nurse informed me that sometimes she just cries so that she knows she's alive. She needs to feel something and in the absence of anything else, she clings to grief. Holy Hell, what a gyp. Crying for no reason, totally senseless.

There is a myth that real men don't cry. That's hogwash. Anyone who says that I am any less of a man because, yes, the end of E.T. The Extra Terrestrial is touching and emotional, well they can kiss my whole ass. Sometimes tears flow at the strangest times. For instance, I didn't cry when my grandparents died, not for any of them, but I did when my uncle passed away. It wasn't about carrying for any one person more than the other, it just hit me in a different way. And that's what I'm getting at today, the unexpected tears.

The last movie that made me cry, totally snuck up on me. I was sitting at home, an yes, I was a lot of high. I think it was the numb maker cocktail of weed and Ambien. Yes, it's hard to stay awake, but it's also so relaxing that you really do find it difficult to move your limbs without a great deal of thought. It's the perfect "space" to be in while watching cinema. So, with my concentration completely transfixed on the film showing in 53" of colorful splendor, I never saw it coming.

To understand how this wonderful flick got to me, you need some important background information. I used to write these letters, still have them in the boxes and boxes of scribblings that I've kept, these letters were to my daughter, Megan. Now, don't freak out like a character on a soap opera that just found out that they have an evil twin, well all do, but I don't have a daughter, not yet. Always thought if I had to have a kid, if by some cosmic accident I was chosen to be someones father, then I wanted it to be a girl. A son would be fine, but a daughter, a Daddy's Little Girl, that's something that I always thought I could be worthy of. Now that you know that we can get back to our regularly scheduled blog, without further interruptions.

As I watched the film, zoned out of my mind on downers, I wasn't paying attention to the details. The over all grasp of the movie was getting through, bit I missed the smallest of details and it caused the water works like chopping onions. For those of you who haven't seen the Paul Haggis movie "Crash" I don't want to ruin a beautiful moment. If you have seen it, you will understand that the daughter of the Latino man was the impetuous of my tear duct betrayal. I'm not afraid to admit it because, a real man can cry, and those that tell you otherwise are lying to you and themselves.

Any movies make you cry?

Dixie Cup of Love: I wrote this because my sister asked me to explain to my nephew that it was all right to cry, that he didn't have to be a tough guy all the time.


PS - A quick favor. Ms. Judi Sunshine, whom most of you love and adore as much as I, needs to get a few more subscribers to her blog to achieve a great personal goal. I don't know what it is, as it was personal. But if you haven't subscribed to her site, please take a moment to do so. The blog you save could be your own. Judi's Blog.