Juke Box Hero

"It's in the way that you use it, Boy don't you know. So don't you ever abuse it, Don't let it go." Eric Clapton from "It's In The Way That You Use It"

The nurse came in today with a skip in her step.. I know that it had nothing to do with me, so I asked her if she went out trolling for victims. Yes, she said, she did go out but not to find an artery in which to sink her fangs in, instead, she said she just went to play some billiards and have a good time. I guess it was snanks night off from devouring. But as she skipped around the room it got me to thinking.

There are things in this world that go together. Peanut butter and jelly, Tom and Jerry, Ben and Jerry, loneliness and me. There are things that we always assume work better together than apart. Things like burgers and fries, Kate and Allie, Simon and Simon, BJ and the Bear, drinking and smoking. But no to things are so connected that they couldn't live without one another, except playing pool and hair metal.

Why is it that when the rack is set we feel the need to hear Whitesnake? Tawny Kitaen cartwheeled across that Jaguar over 21 years ago. Steve Miller Bands "The Joker" came out in 1977. Is there any reason the kids that are populating the pool halls and bars are relating to this music? And classic rock gets an exemption from me. Yes, hearing Led Zeppelin while sinking the 9 ball of the snap like Fast Eddie Felson is a pure entertainment. Yes, "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath should be played at least once a night in these dens of degradation. But why the hair metal. Cinderella? Are you kidding me? Poison? Give me a break, I swear if I hear "Every Rose Has It's Thorns" one more time I'm killing people, I don't care where I am. Do I need to hear "Cherry Pie" without getting to see the smoking hot girl in the video? No, I think that time has passed.

Is it so hard to shoot pool to Emo? Isn't your Fall Out Boy and Panic At The Disco enough for these kids? Do I really have to hear "Bad To The Bone" three times a night? I get it, you're bad, to the bone, now put on some Bob Knows Best for Christ sake. At least it would be funny as compared to the 12 bar blues of George Thoughorgood, for the One Gagillionth time.

Last night as I sat at the bar, downing Captain and Coke like it was a cure, I hear so many songs that made me sick, I barely knew where to begin. So I asked Bree the bartender why she thought the Jukebox from 1987 was still in service. The gorgeous barmaid gave me a smile and said that no good music had been made since 1988. Horse pucky I said slamming my fist to the bar so hard that it spilled my drink on Ashleigh, the three fingered hooker. Bree had no idea, Ashleigh was headed for the bathroom to wring out her clothes, cause who would want a hooker that wreaked of spiced Rum and soda pop?

The point that I am taking way to long to get to is this: Where's the pool hall greats of today? Where are the songs that make you want to play that cue stick like a guitar? Where's the Appetite For Destruction ( or the Chines Democracy for that matter). Where's the Swing Town? Where's the Brown Eyed Girl?

Are the classic songs gone? Is anyone writing music that is worthy of Color of Money status? What are your favorite songs to shoot some stick too?