Industry of Cool

"I gotta tell you, you're lookin' real good, They let us in so I'm feelin' all right. I like to go where sometimes they refuse, Yeah, I remember last Saturday night. But I'm feeling cooler now. And they could tell we're cooler now." Sparks from "Cool Places"

I have always found the nurse to one of the coolest people that I ever imagined. Something about her seems to exude the quality of "Take me as I am", never a trend follower, nor a setter be. She just is and that's what makes her cool. But when I ask her how she got to be like a cucumber or the other side of the pillow she invariably tells me that she things she's a big dork. Not something I would ever think her to be, I mean, the outfit, the tattoos, no way she isn't hipper than Ginsberg. But cool is something that is extraordinarily difficult to explain.

Let me start by saying that I'm not cool. Lester Bangs, William Miller, and I could have a great night rocking back pills and cough syrup, talking about the style of David Bowie, the easy of Eric Clapton, and the sex appeal of Bon Jovi. And we'd be envious of them all. But across the universe in a part that I'm not privy too Bowie, Clapton, and Johnathon B. Jovi could be sitting in a similar Robitussin circle talking about the style of Morrison, the easy of Hendrix, and the sex appeal of Roger Daltrey. Cool is a relative term, after all.

My biggest clue to unraveling this mystery was when I met a guy who would later become a friend. His name is Kerry. His occupation: guitarist. He is in a band that most of you have at least heard of, maybe not ever listened to, but you are probably aware that they exist. When I met him I was a bouncer at a bar that had it's share of celebrity sightings, mostly athletes, but also the likes of Michael Bay, Charlie Sheen, and Gwen Stefani just to name drop a few. So by the time I met Kerry I wasn't star struck, I just treated him like any other bald, tattoo headed guy that came in. Once we got to talking we realized that we had some common ground and became friends. Now his band has this mad legion of fans, all of which consider him to be the coolest things since peanut butter. After I could call him friend I could also call him a dork. There was no aire of cool to him on that level. He was just a guy I knew that had a way sweeter job than I did.

Once I realized that this so called "cool" guy was a lot like me, I gave up the notion of wanting to be one of the cool kids. Being in the "In Crowd" is about making the most of the time you spend with people. If you and your group are the ones in the bar laughing, joking, and having a great time then everyone in that place who looks at your group will think "you're cool." If there is a large group of sad sack emo kids on one side of the room and me and the comic book reading nerd herd on the other, at least one of those black eye liner wearing morbids is gonna wish they were with us. Cause we have a good time. Who wants to be depressed all the time, well besides Bono.

Beauty has nothing to do with cool. Being attractive can open some doors into different social groups but you could look like Brad Pitt and if you can't bring wit and intelligence to my crowd, it's exile on Main Street time for you. I've met women who were at one time as gorgeous as Scarlett Johannson, yet at the same moment as ugly as Sandra Bernhard. Attitude, brains, and humor go a long damn way to making you cool.

So, I'm not cool. No big worry for me because all my friends are cool with me the way I am. There's a line in Juno when she tells Paulie that he is the coolest person that she knows and he doesn't even try, to which he responds "I try really hard, actually." Been there done that. I've moved from Paulie Bleeker to a very happy to be me Lenny Kravitz kind of place, and you know what, I'm cool with that.

Do you fancy yourself cool or a dork?

Dixie Cup of Love: Alabama Worley for the line "You're so cool"