Idiosyncratic Routine

"Fourteen was a gas for me, Spiderman on TV, I would cheer those Superheroes, they were all I wanted to be" Debbie Harry from "Comic Books"

As the nurse medicated me to the brink of Gary Busey level insanity, I tried to use the Jedi mind trick on her. I was hoping she would use a sponge for my bath and give the sand paper the day off. It didn't work, it never does, fuck you George Lucas. As the skin started getting scraped off my shins, I closed my eyes, wished for death, and plotted my revenge on the Star Wars creator.

Telepathic powers would be cooler than Vanilla Ice. Being able to shape the thoughts of other people, to make Jessica Simpson a five day returning champion on Jeopardy, or to turn George W. Bush into an adequate and beloved leader, I mean think about the possibilities. What a power to be in complete control of another human being. Women have this power over men already, which is why they look at us Marvel and DC reading man-boys like we are nothing but protractor carrying, pockets protected nerds. We aren't. We are Geeks. And the thing that will blow your mind like a David Lynch movie is that most of us are damn proud of Geek status. And little by little, the girls are starting to join us.

The stigma attached to the comic book reader, as perpetuated by the Simpson's and The Big Bang Theory is that we are all a bunch of virginic, basement dwelling, social outcasts that cower at the mere mention of boobies. Mmmm, boobies, wait, no, I'm focused. The truth is some of the best writers in the country, in the world, are now or have at one time written funny books. It's not all super mutants with huge pecs and over exaggerated breasts. Mmmm, breasts. There are books that deal with religion, politics, plagues on humanity and almost always in a way that you would never imagine. These writers dealt with the tragedy of 9-11 in amazing, heart breaking fashion. Their books promote tolerance, evoke discussion, and inspire creative thought.

Comic books are basically soap opera with more fascinating characters, better dialogue, and somehow, more realistic story lines. Every year more and more movies based on comics come to a theater near you and I'm not just talking about X-Men and Spiderman. The Tom Hanks gangster flick "The Road to Perdition". Comic Book. The quick bang shoot em up "Sin City". Comic Book. The fantasy adventure tale "Stardust". Comic Book. The quirky indie hit "Ghost World". You guessed it, Comic Book. And no one in these four movies wore spandex, shot lasers from their eyes, or captured an evil super villain in a gigantic web. They were just brilliant stories.

So cut the Geeks some slack. Let them know that you accept their passion, even if you don't understand it completely. Don't mock it as adolescent garbage, because you may end up liking a film only to find out it originally appeared in the vivid colors of a comic book. You never know, but we do.

Do you love the comics? Which are you favorites? Do you have a problem with comic books of the readers of them?

Dixie Cup of Love: Atomic, for getting a brother hooked.