Blowing an O-ring

"So what made you think, that he couldn't find a door in the morning? When he found that bed so easily in the dark?" Cute Is What We Aim For from "The Fourth Drink Instinct"

The poor wretched skank looked like she had been used in a disgustingly naughty way as she handed my pills over. It made sense that the nurse would be some throw away one night stand for some beer bellied desk jockey down at the pub. She stank of desperation, wore it like a socialite wears Channel. The top notes giving way to an undercurrent of self loathing and a weak will. What an easy mark.

On a view occasions I have been devious enough to hornswoggle a drunken damsel into letting me deposit some DNA within hours of meeting her. And I appreciate her willingness and graciousness. Granted, that most of the time it's a male centric adventure. If we know that we aren't going to see a woman again do you really think we care if she gets her O-ring blown? Wham Bamm Thank You Ma'am is all about us. And sometimes that's just what needs to be done. But on a few blue moon "very special" episodes, it was mutually beneficial.

I met a longtime friend at a not so popular night spot in the seedier section of The O.C. one evening when I was right around the quarter century mark. She was older than I by a few years, not quite a cougar, but seasoned. She had worked with my mother and we met when mumsy took me to a watering hole for my 21st. Rhonda. Sweet Rhonda. I never thought we would end up making the beast this two backs, nor could I have ever imagined that it would be three.

Upon arriving at the not-so-hot spot, Rhonda introduced me to her gal pal, Nicole. First thing I notice about her is she is the polar opposite of my family friend. Where Rhonda was thick, curvy, and top heavy just the way I love em, Nicole was quite slender, blonde, and a devil in a b-cup, but she was stunning, beautiful, the kind of gal I never thought possible being that my shape is more pearish.

As drinks were consumed at Hemingway levels Rhonda and I took a trip on the light fantastic, a slow number. As we danced she kissed my neck. That was all it took for me to know that the walk back to the table was going to be one of embarrassment. Did it matter? Not in the least. After our tangled tango, Rhonda ran interference blocking the view of my rigid appendage as best she could, we arrived at the table to find Nicole missing. We were going to send a search party but we ended out making out instead. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. After a passion kiss that seemed to involve more fluid exchange than a transfusion, I came up for air. I ordered another round of drinks as Nicole returned. Seeing that I would be in good hands, though I'm still not sure if she knew it would be literal, Rhonda excused herself to the ladies room.

Nicole wasted no time mentioning that the kiss between Rhonda and I looked amazingly hot. I blushed, not knowing that she had been watching. That was her trigger. She sprang like a clock spring. I was worried that Rhonda, who I was Fairly certain was going to give me the deluxe prize package, would see this and the deal would be blown. Luckily, nothing of the sort happened. Rhonda returned and the rest of the evening was polite on all accounts.

Rhonda had to drop Nicole off before we headed back to her place. I offered to follow them in my car. At a red light I could have sworn that I saw the two of them lean together and kiss. Surely it was the rum playing tricks on me. Then, and trust me I will never forget the feeling of this moment, Rhonda pulled her car into the parking lot of a hotel. Jackpot!

I played it as cool as I could with blood rushing far from my brain. Parking I walked to them and asked if everything was okay with her car. Rhonda took me by the shoulders, looked me right in the eye, and said the words that forever ring in my ears: "You're about to have a fantasy come true." 7-7-7!

What happened in that hotel room, well, it's not polite to talk about such things. Your imaginations are quite capable of drawing the picture. But I will say this, there was so much contact, so much raw energy, that everyone was fulfilled.

Have any good one night stand experiences? Any bad ones? Any randy threesome stories?

Dixie Cup of Love: The hotel clerk that nodded at me in a very knowing way.