"When I grow up to be a man, will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid? Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did? Will I joke around and still dig those sounds." The Beach Boys from "When I Grow Up"
The nurse and I were having a pow wow about her job after I gulped down the gel caps of jolliness that colored the inside of my Dixie cup like Rainbow Brite went bulimic in it. I asked the dealer of my dreams if it had been her life long goal to be a nurse at an imaginary mental institution. Of course she has hoped to be something else, but sometimes life takes an unexpected turn. She had aspired to be a Senegalese sous chef, but apparently there isn't a big job market for the preparation of cuisine from Senegal. Had I always dreamt of being an under inspired unpaid blogger, she asked. Touche, harlot.
Growing up I never wanted to be a fireman, a cop, a doctor, or a lawyer much to the chagrin of SuperMom. I'm sure she would have preferred that I had chosen a career that would have offered a little stability and income, but she is quite proud of what I have accomplished as a writer. But even that wasn't what I though life would have in store for me. See I wanted to be like Spielberg, no not Jewish, I wanted to be a director. I thought that winning the Oscar in any other category was somehow a lesser award. But when you find your talent, you go where it takes you. I would be thrilled beyond the worlds knowledge to get the bald man statue for writing, but that wasn't what I wanted as a kid.
My sister was once asked what she wanted to be when she grew up and she didn't hesitate before saying cocktail waitress. That's setting the bar to a nice attainable level, don't you think. I'm mean if you're gonna dream, make it as banal as possible. Thing is, her dream was realized, mine, not so much. Maybe she was onto something. Maybe.
I've always been a dreamer, and I'm not the only one. My brother once told me that though I was poor and he was handsome and well to do with the cash flow, that he envied the fact that for what it was worth I have chased my dream. Not always the case. I will say that for the last 6 years I have really made an effort to go after it with some gusto. This year I have taken bigger steps than I have ever taken before, and next year I will go even further. The hardest part about being a writer is finding someone to read your work, I've found that here. The next step is finding someone that can open a door to the career side of it. I will, I have drive and determination, and you have no idea how great it will feel to quit HellJob.
Today's question comes in a few parts. What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you still in pursuit of that dream? Where did it derail? What's your new dream?
Dixie Cup of Love: Christine Basch, guidance counselor who told me that writing was a stupid career choice.
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