Tears of the Clowns

"Now if there’s a smile on my face, it’s only there tryin’ to fool the public, but when it comes down to foolin’ you; Now honey, that’s quite a different subject." Smokey Robinson and the Miracles from "Tears of a Clown"

The nurse laughed like a jackal as she fed me my Inmate-Go-Sleepy pills today. The cause of her adjulation was a poll in the local bird cage liner ranking who the top nurses in the land were. Her name, sadly for her, no surprise to me, wasn’t on the list. Why the manical laugh, should I get a bed ready in room 2? "Because," she said, "I did not become a nurse to be ranked, I became a nurse to torture the likes of you!"

There are a river of tears being cryed, fjords of mascara staining cheeks, and all because of a stupid insipid thing called Blog Rankings. I admit, when I started the Asylum I was interested to see where I would end up. A few times I even shared the meaningless rankings with you fine folks. But after reading a stream of bulletins, blogs, and messages about how the rankings were unfair, I thought, to hell with that. I’m not here to be ranked. I’m here because I need to do this.

The best part for me isn’t even writing the blogs. It’s the comments. That’s the butter on a my toast. I sit around waiting like Rosencratz and Gildenstern hoping that you all show up and rant on about whatever madness has crossed my mind. It’s adrenline rushing without the sky diving. And more and more of you are reading it everyday (except on weekends, when my hit count shrank like a penis in a cold pool). But I don’t care if I’m the "Top Myspace Blogger" that’s like being the "Best Diddly Winks Player in the World", it’s great, but it isn’t gonna get me anywhere.

So, today, on naked comment day, I make a declaration to you, loyal reader. I won’t check the rankings ever again. You don’t ever tell me if you see me on there, and together we’ll have some fun, leave some comments, and hopefully when all is said and done, we can look back at the Asylum as a groovy place to meet some new people. If you’ve come here expecting to be wildly entertained everyday, I’m going to disappoint you. If you’ve come here expecting to learn the meaning of life, get in line. If you’ve come here to spread a message of hate, just make sure it is geared at me and not the other commenters. If you’ve come her expecting me to poor out more truth than Jack Nicholson could handle, wait for tomorrow. Today I’m just telling the cryers to dry their eyes and enjoy what little success you have. If the worth of your being is going to be tied to how many people read your blog, you’re a child. Most of them, the cryers, whine about broken relationships or how men are better than women, I mean, for Jeebus sake, wake up.

I’ve never erased a comment. Unless it was a duplicate. But never would I sensor what you write to me. That’s ridiculous. It goes against everything that writing is about. If you’re one of the crying masses using a refresher to boost your numbers, you’re cowardly and egotistical. You want a throw down, I’ll give you one. One subject, two blogs, let the readers decide who has the knack. I may lose, I may win, but I won’t have to fluff my numbers like a wanna be porn star to be happy.

Sorry if this one didn’t have the zing that you’re used to. Tomorrows is a much more personal account. I just had to get this off my chest.

What do you think about these people? Is it worth it to be the 1 blogger? Why do you come here? Are you commenting naked, as is the rule today?

Dixie Cup of Love: Writers.