Knockwurst for 12

"Well if they'd free me from this prison, if that railroad train was mine. I bet I'd move just a little further down the line. Far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay and I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away....." Johnny Cash from "Folsom Prison Blues"

The nurse was higher than Hendrix on New Years Eve as she entered my room for my dose of daily delusion. She had obviously spent the night partying like a rock star and then just decided to come to work. It must be against the law to perform her job while under the influence of fun stuff. I thought about calling a cop, but do you really think they would listen to an Asylum inmate. Even if they did arrest her the jury would probably dismiss the case because she's hot and I'm insane, I mean, how much harm could she really do?

Here's the thing about jury ineptitude. There isn't a better system. I know, I wish there was, believe me, but a trial by jury still beats one man, judge, jury, executioner. The thing that gets me riled up like the Tazmanian Devil with a pimple in his nose, is that it's supposed to be a jury of my peers. That means they need to find 12 people that are smart enough to get out of jury duty to begin with. If I was on trial, as some of you may think I already have been, I certainly wouldn't care about any personal information about the jurors, except their IQ score. Whether they were black or white, Catholic or Protestant, male or female, Oprah fans or no, I take that back, I would hate to be staring at the jury box and know they liked The Dark Large One, but whether they believed in Santa Claus or saw the Grinch as a better symbol of Christmas, the only thing I would want to know was their IQ. And since I am of above average intelligence, my peers would be as well. Your system, not mine.

In Tennessee yesterday, a man by the name of Paul House was released from Death Row, not the Suge Knight record label I mean the about to be electrocuted until the Big Light appears kind of Death Row, after the Supreme Court decided in a 5-3 decision that reasonable jurors would not convict House if they knew the results of the DNA tests that were revealed 12 years after his conviction. 12 years after the conviction the DNA evidence points to the husband of the deceased, but it still took 10 years for the Supreme Court to decide, by a wire thin majority, that 12 uninformed people made the wrong decision. 22 years on death row. That's a long time. How long you ask? Paul House has never seen the Simpsons! Something needs to be done. We either need to get a more effective trial system or a faster execution plan for our death row inmates.

Now, you can be pro death penalty or anti death penalty, it really doesn't matter to me. I, for one, will stand by the ideals of the old west. Some times, somethings are just too vial to let a person live. So if you asked me if I was on a jury panel if I was for the death penalty my answer would be "Do you smell Knockwurst, I love Knockwurst, my shirt is from Sears, I don't like mice. What was it you asked, oh yeah death penalty, I think it's a woman's right to choose." Then, of course, I would be excused from jury duty because I was obviously a nutjob, but in reality, I just didn't want to sit in a courtroom for months on end listening to what, in 22 years, may prove to be bad evidence. I'm too smart for that.

In this fine country of ours, a country that I love beyond a shadow of a doubt, I feel that many systems are in need of some repair. One of them is the judicial system. Health care, Social Security, Prisons, the two party system, the FBI, CIA, and a bunch of other organizations with initials need to be looked at. Today, I'm glad that Paul House is out of jail, he may be guilty as OJ Simpson, but there will be another trial, and hopefully that jury will be filled with people that were wrongfully sentenced to prison for 20+ years so that he can be tried by a jury of his peers.

Any jury stories?

Dixie Cup of Love: Juror #4